My Thoughts Tonight

I'm feeling very uneasy tonight about my new calling.  I am to be 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency.  I will oversee Relief Society activities or "additional meetings."

My initial emotions are uneasy and a bit numb.  I set to work right after sacrament, as has been my habit for some time.  I see that I immediately search for something to busy myself with when I feel awkward or uncomfortable.  I want to be busy so I don't have to think about what worries me.

I will say that the events of today are a welcomed distraction as I pass the door of the Primary room.  Honestly, I haven't thought much about Primary at all today.  Oh how quickly we change gears!

Unable to sleep, I find myself reading the RS section of the new Handbook.  It is here that the giant responsibility that I have just accepted is explained to me in great detail.  I must help the sisters to strengthen their families, increase in personal righteousness, embody charity and help those in need.

Ok, who feels qualified enough in any of these categories to lead others on such a Christ-like path?

Not me. 

I'm struggling with all these things.  Not out of lack of desire.  I just feel under-qualified.

My role in Primary was so simple.  "Teach the Principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ."  The work to which I am now called comes with a responsibility to save souls and families.  I suddenly have a new appreciation for every RS leader that has gone before.  It is not just about logistics; making sure we have teachers, activities, and meals for the sick.  This call is overwhelming in a whole new way.  It carries the weight of some enormous responsibility.

The training section of the ward website for Relief Society states, "Faith must be nourished with great diligence and patience."  I have Faith.  Lots of it.  I know that I can help the Lord's purposes to be fulfilled even if much is unsure for me.  I trust in the Lord.  Faith has always been a principle that I understand well.  I am full of hope, often. 

I think I am fairly diligent.  There's still plenty of room for improvement here though.

It's the patience that I am truly lacking. 

Mostly, I hope that those around me will have patience as I stumble into this new calling - a glove that doesn't seem to quite fit.