"We're Having A Baby"

Have you ever noticed that it is completely acceptable for a man to say, "We're having a baby!"?  The man is surely not with child.  He isn't experiencing morning sickness or weight gain.  He will not be the one with feet up in stirrups after nine months of gestation.  Yet it is still perfectly acceptable for a man to say, "We're having a baby." 

I don't really have a problem with a man saying such a thing.  In fact I think it's rather cute. 

My gripe today is over the fact that the reverse is not understood.

I have a tendency to say, "We're in dental school," when describing our current station in life.  The reaction is an alarmed response.  "You're BOTH in dental school?" 

Now when a man says, "We're having a baby," people don't question if both he AND his wife are having a baby.

Those who have supported a spouse through a graduate program such as this (or any lengthy endeavor really) knows what it means to "be in dental school."  It means that our lives revolve around this tremendous thing.  While it is not central to our existence, dental school is where we're at.  It's why we live where we do, why our budget is what it is, why we see so little of each other, why we need certain medication, why we rely on our friends and neighbors for adult conversation, why our spouses are stressed out, why mommy is a nutcase, why debt is now a term to be understood with 6 digits, and why there is only 4 of us at the dinner table.  Dental school is also the reason why my husband will be able to provide a comfortable living for us, why he'll be able to support 3 boys on their missions, why he'll be able to serve those in need and make people feel better.  It's the reason we'll have a nice home someday in which to welcome friends, neighbors, and grandkids!  It is the reason why we'll be financially stable enough to serve missions for our church as a couple.  It is the reason why James will be able to travel to other countries and provide care to those less fortunate.  It is what makes us laugh, what makes us cry, what makes us stressed, what brings us possibilities.

Dental school is the gigantic all encompassing thing for US.  Not just him.  US!

I know that I am not the one headed to school at sunrise.  I do not spend hours a day in lecture halls or labs.  I won't be drilling on patients in clinic or pouring over my notes before final exams.

But I am holding down the fort.   I am making sure the bills get paid with those tiny scholarships and giant loans.  I am unloading groceries, cleaning house, dressing kids, meeting with teachers, feeding the picky eaters, wiping noses, quieting tantrums (sometimes my own), requesting flu shots, visiting doctors, researching parenting, reading studies, bathing, diapering, clothing, budgeting, cooking, entertaining, struggling, trying, and praying.  Lots of praying.

I am certainly not trying to take credit for my husband's academic achievements.  He is amazing!  He balances so much outside of dental school and still manages to be successful in a difficult program such as this.  He deserves every bit of credit.  How proud I am and how proud I'll be when he graduates with that diploma! 

I would merely like the world to understand that DENTAL SCHOOL IS SOMETHING WE ARE IN TOGETHER!