Course Corrections

I have had a life-changing experience this week - one that has shaken me to my core.

I have had experiences in my life that, no matter how unpleasant, have clearly shaped me and made me who I am today.

I am a person who knows the gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and I desire to follow his example. I am someone who understands the atonement and its daily role in my life. I am happiest when I am serving others, especially those that I love. I really, really, love to do service. While there is room for improvement, I consider myself a person with a fair amount of patience. I am a good, law-abiding citizen who gives back to her community. I read to my kids. I work to magnify my church callings. I know that I can get better at all that I do, and yet I am comfortable knowing that life is a progression.

Quite the pedestal - isn't it?

Well, Tuesday I had a visit from the humble fairy. That's the fairy that comes in the night (or day, as my case may be) and removes the pedestal beneath us without leaving a quarter. I have been shown my weaknesses, my errors, and have felt the most tremendous weight fall upon me. I have seen where I am on this progression and I have so very long to go. I feel heartache for words said, thoughts had, and action/lack of action on my part. I am sure that I have tasted only a portion of my guilt and I desire not to have a perfect knowledge of such.

Now, I write this not for anyone but myself. Primarily, I write for therapy, and I write that I might not forget what I am learning here.

It profits no one to sorrow, to remain in a state of remorse, this I know. The events that transpired are part of a plan. These things happen to given us experience and to mold us in to who we should be.

Who should we be?

We should be kind, loving, and charitable. We should be humble and teachable. We should be servants in building up the kingdom of Heaven on Earth. We should be repentant and forgiving. We should live in way that allows us to be receptive to guidance.

I have fallen short.

The good news is that there is someone who can make up the difference. The atonement can make us all whole. My faults can be forgiven, my sorrow can be lifted, and my burden can be light. I can learn from this, and find in this experience a new shape. While I would gladly erase the happenings of this past Tuesday morning, I am grateful for the jolt that put me a new path. I pray that I will never forget the lessons of this week. I am determined to do better. I would be wrong to think that I won't stumble in the future. However, each time that I fall on my face, I hope to regain my footings on a path that is more in line with my Savior.

Perhaps, if I work at it, the course corrections won't have to be quite so abrupt in the future.

Blogging for the sake of blogging.

I am too lazy to upload all the recent pics. There are many, and some great one's at that. I have great video of Danny running like lightning at Field Day. I have Dallin posing with the cute waitress that dropped an entire tray of ice waters on him. There are new pics of Tiny that make you wonder how a kid can have eyes that big and beautiful. We have James' grad shots and some beautiful pics from our recent hike at the nature reserve.

But, I subscribe to the lazy gals club. That's right! I'd be a card carrying member, but I'm too lazy to carry the card. Sorry. There will be no pics today.

I am ashamed to admit that I have visited a number of blogs and murmured at the lack of updates. "What is up? Why are there no new posts? How frustrating!" Yet, here I sit with no updates for a month. I ask your forgiveness.

So friends, I will try to do better...

When we're not off having adventures on trails and around school racetracks, we are counting down the days until property management is a distant memory.

In the last week alone, we have seen drug warrants, vandalism ranging in the multiple thousands of dollars, mudslides associated with run-off issues, broken garbage disposals, towel racks, and kitchen sinks. Multiple tenants have given their intent to vacate, and landscapers have shattered a sliding glass door with a mower-thrown rock. There's more, but I'm too lazy to bore you with all that.

It's really time to move on.

It will be difficult to leave the home that we first brought Darren to. This is where we made our family complete. This is the place where we found ourselves, having left our parents, and charted new waters without free babysitters. We grew closer and grew up just enough to know that what we really needed was more pillow fights. This is where I stopped being such a home-body and loaded up my boys into Sally the Sienna for new adventures in a city where none of the highways make sense. This was made possible by the beautiful luxury of the attached garage (now this, I will miss dearly).

But then, I look at the way my front door is painted, I remember the KCPD helicopters with spotlights on the backyard, and think that perhaps I will run from here with a smile from ear to ear.

It has been great to see more of James - the James I knew before test anxiety and the stress of trying to get in to dental school. I have spent the last week with a James who is especially pleasant to be around. I'm not sure that I'll be able to let go again in August.

Perhaps then I will take up some new hobby. It's not likely though - I'm too lazy.

Mailing Out the Goods

Ok, if you are not in the immediate Kansas City area, and/or our paths don't frequently cross, I will need your address in order to send you the cute earrings that I've made. So, if you were one of the brave ones who signed up for this little project, please email me with your home address and wait by the door for your package to arrive. Also if you do not have pierced ears, I need to know that too.

Kelly and Lechelle - I know where to find you.
Laura, Erin K., and Annie - I'm gonna need more info on yous guys.
Jennifer - I don't yet know your new address, but since you're not really moving - I'll just swing by the townhome.

Love Ya!

No Peeking.

It's time to go private! That's right. My overprotective nature is kicking in and my blog is going private. If you enjoy the ramblings of this mom of three, please comment and I will add you to my list asap. Thanks!

Emily

p.s. To my blog stalker from the Soviet Republic, Until we meet again...

Here's what we look like these days.

How to be the best gospel doctrine teacher on the planet.

The other night, Daniel was reading his scriptures aloud before bed. He was reading along quite nicely in his cute little Danny voice. Then suddenly, he lowers his voice into a Darth Vader like tone and finishes the sentence which read, "there is war between the Lamanites and Zeniff's people. - Duhn Duhn Duhnnnnn!"

I thought, if only we were taught this way in Sunday school. It would certainly be more interesting and I'm sure that we'd get more out of it.

I love you Danny!

I am a girl and can do girlie things!

Okay so the earring project was important. I am sure many of you reading my blog thought, "why is that girl making such a big deal about this?" Well, here's why.

I have boys. 4 boys. No girls. This is exactly the way I want it - and always have.

I am so thrilled that there are no Polly Pocket pieces in my house, no Barbie shoes and no My Little Ponies. I am relieved that our latest addition will fit perfectly into our red and blue, retro-airplane themed room. I don't want any pink walls in my house and I don't want anyone in the house to be more dramatic than me - ever.

I think boys have way cooler toys than girls - Legos, Nerf Blasters, R/C Cars, and Light Sabers, to name a few. I love how little boys NEED their mamas. I love tickle wars that usually result in minor injuries before we know it's time to stop. I love that my 4-year-old will squash a bug for me - even if it's a big one. I love to hop in a go cart with one of them next to me and sream as we speed on a racetrack. I get excited when I see a bright green Lamborghini Murciélago Hot Wheel when at Wal-Mart. On the whole, I just love my boys! So our house of princes with only one princess is perfect.

However, it is easy to lose sight of one's own femininity when surrounded by all things Tonka. I have never been a very girlie girl to begin with, but I'd like to think that I haven't entirely lost my sense of self. I am ok with giving up showers before noon, I have learned to live with the idea that my children will occasionally use me as a human napkin, but I would like to know that underneath all the peanut butter there is girl in there somewhere - and a cute one at that.

It was also important that I enjoy a moment free from Hot Wheels and wrestling on the floor to do something grown-up. I almost envy the time James has at school - growing his mind and achieving such success. I needed to accomplish something that was tangible - something more than a clean bathroom and 3 loads of laundry folded. Those things are wonderful accomplishments and on certain days can be much more difficult to accomplish than an Analytical Chemistry Lab. But I needed something more. I needed earrings.

I've only completed two pairs thus far. The demands on the princess don't stop for my new hobby. But, at least I have a new hobby, and that's something.

Update

For those of you who agreed to receive a homemade gift from me...I've started making these special gifts for you and I'm very excited about the whole thing. I am making something that I've never made before. I am excited about this new skill that I am learning and I can't wait to share the fruits of my labors. I won't tell you what it is but I will let you try and guess. If you can figure it out in 20 guesses or less - you will win priority and your gift will be sent out first. Here's how this will work...

Post a comment at the bottom of this entry with a yes or no question. I will post my answer in the same place. Keep asking questions for all to see and the first person to reply with the right answer (ex. Is it a _________) wins! I'll start you off with a hint - it is NOT a fruit basket.

More of my little angel...

Darren - 8 Months

I look at those big gorgeous eyes and melt. It's like staring at an angel. He is sweet, beautiful, and precious in every way. His personality is gentle. He is not, in any way, demanding. Darren grins from ear to ear when he sees me walk into the room or peek my head around the corner. His level of excitement when I whisper, "Hello Baby!" puts me on the moon. I love that sometimes all he wants is me. It feels so good to be loved and needed like that. I love my little Darren. What a marvelous way to complete our family!

What I Value Most

Just over 8 years ago, my sweetheart met me at the LDS Temple in St. Louis, Missouri to be married not just till death parts us, but for ETERNITY. Within the walls of this temple, are worthy members of the priesthood with authority to bind on Earth and Heaven. Through a most precious and sacred ordinance, my husband and I were sealed together as a family forever.

I treasure the knowledge that families are of God -- created for the eternities. I know that James and I existed in a pre-mortal realm before we came to know each other here. The knowledge that our marriage is eternal, and that we will forever progress in our love, brings me great joy. I am not complete without him. We are a silly pair that are made perfect in each other. I couldn't imagine an end to what we have. What takes place within the walls of these sacred houses which are dedicated to Lord, is of greater value than anything the world can offer.

We are excited to share that a temple is being built here in Kansas City. After the completion of the temple, all are welcome to tour the building and view the rooms in which these holy ordinances take place. This is a rare opportunity, as these temples are closed to public after the open house. We invite all that are interested to contact us and we'll be sure to get you an invitation to the open house.

Click on the link below for more about the sacred nature of temples.

ERROR: How small things drastically impact my life.

This could definitely be a lengthy post as I look back at some impossible errors in my life.

Let's start with our most recent phenomenon...

This evening, shortly after 10pm, James and I discovered that the amount deposited into our account from the government did not match what HR Block listed as our refund amount. After some investigation we discovered that the IRS believes that an error was made in our filing. We will be calling our accountant tomorrow morning to learn the pleasantries of this situation. I will, as politely as possible, convince them to honor their guarantee, pay any penalties, and return my funds. I'm sure it will be a lovely conversation and if I'm lucky, the baby won't wake up unexpectedly during what is sure to be a lengthy phone call and Dallin won't scream at me from the bathroom that he wants help wiping. I'm sure that it's probably no big deal. I'm sure everything will work out. I'm sure nothing big will come of it. Right?

Let me share some hilariously impossible situations that ended up being HUGE deals. (Please know as you read this, that despite these ginormous obstacles, I am currently a well adjusted and very happy individual.)

1)
Late in the afternoon on the last Friday in February, I opened a letter in the mail informing me that our health insurance was being canceled as of March 1st (a Sunday). James had a doctor's appointment scheduled for the following Monday. This was an appointment that he made month's in advance. He's been having breathing trouble. His asma is getting worse, and I don't think he has fully recovered from a bronchial infection that he had just before Christmas.

You can imagine that at 4 o'clock in the afternoon on a Friday no one in the office was available to speak with me. I left numerous messages on voice mails frantically hoping someone would return my call and fix this before it was too late. Alas, it was not to be. Our insurance was canceled, James missed his appointment, and we've been told that once coverage ends - it cannot be reactivated. How did this happen? One page of our renewal paperwork was lost by someone in their offices. They are claiming not to have received it. I delivered it in person.

2)
I was a sophomore at Southeast Missouri State University living in the dorms on campus. After completing the fall semester, I returned to St. Louis for Christmas Break. The dorms were closed over break but we were allowed to leave our belongings securely locked inside. I filled out a forwarding address card with the office of Campus Mail.

Upon my return and the start of the Spring semester, I was surprised that none of my instructors had me on their class rosters. A bit alarmed, I head to the registrar for a copy of my schedule. She informed me that my classes were dropped for non-payment and that notices had been mailed to...(any guesses?) that's right! my dorm room.

After 2 days of investigating, I learned that an expected increase in my grant did not come through simply because someone accidentally typed in a zero instead of a three on my transcript. The classes that I had registered for were full and could not be added to because of fire codes. These classes were prerequisites for my program and were only offered in the fall. Even if I could find art classes that had room for me, I would not be able to be back on track for another year. I packed up, moved back to St. Louis, enrolled two weeks late at the community college, and started over.

3) At the community college, I constantly battled the financial aid adviser who repeatedly denied me my grants and scholarships because I had too many credits to be a sophomore at their 2 year college. "Well of course I do ma'am, but someone typed in a zero instead of a three."

4) I eventually transfered to UM-St. Louis where I was wait listed my Senior year for Senior Seminar I. I was #2 on the wait list and 1 person dropped the class. :o( SSI was a pre-req. for the other class that I would need to graduate and was only offered in the fall. I had to stay in school to defer payment on my student loans so, I headed back to the community college for another semester. Because I took 2 classes that semester, UM-St. Louis considered me a transfer student. Guess what? Transfer students are not allowed to register until after the current students are given priority. At 8 am on the 1st day transfers were allowed to register, I learned that the class was full yet again. I fought it. I climbed the ladder and pleaded with everyone from the instructor to the chancellor. It was a long road, but I graduated with a bachelor's degree after only 8 years of trying.

5) I owned a little light blue Dodge Omni hatchback. It was a little car but it got me where I needed to go. One day it was totaled by 3 year old driving a Buick. Impossible right? Just down the street a woman left her child in the car while she carted groceries into the house. She left the car double parked and running with the keys in it. The little one got out of his seat and drove down the block, over a small tree, narrowly avoiding a pedestrian on the sidewalk, through my Dodge, and into someones back yard. The little guy hopped out of the car and ran home. A young man, of the same ethnicity of the child, came running down the block. He quickly opened the trunk, snatched out a large duffel bag and hurried home. The police came and we learned that these individuals were residents in the nearby Pastor's home. He takes in crack addicts to rehabilitate them. The car was stolen, the plates were stolen, and the mom did not have a current driver's license, nor did she have insurance. She had warrants out for her arrest for unpaid tickets and was arrested that day for abandoning her child in a running vehicle. The pastor paid her bail but did not feel any obligation to donate to my transportation needs. My insurance company called it a "freak accident" and did not consider a 3 year old to be an uninsured motorist. Go figure. If the pastor had had homeowners insurance, the damages could've been covered by it, since they were residents of his home and it happened in front of the house. It turns out that you are not required to have homeowners insurance if you own your home outright. Bummer.

There are these stories and more - if you can believe that.

So many of these things seem impossible to me. Not just unlikely - impossible! Yet they happen, and to me.

I have spent much time pondering the reason for such craziness in my life and I have recently come to a very happy conclusion:

"The greater one's purpose in life - the greater the opposition. "

I mean Heavenly Father doesn't ask us to run faster than we have strength.

Thus, He must think that I am a super-mega-ultra-strong babe of power. Right?

Burnesonville

So I spend more time than is healthy, for both me and my kids, blog stalking and facebooking. I try desperately to keep in touch with all the pals we've made over the last eight years. You all keep spreading out, dashing off to a plethora of locations across the nation. Frankly, I'm quite sick of it.

I'm sorry but I really like some of you and the daily status report online is just not going to cut it!

There are so many friends and families who have really helped us to become the wacky Burneson's that you see today. There are those of you with whom we laughed our pants off, others encouraged James & I to stay together even after playing Settlers. There are those whose kids just play so darn well with ours. There are friends who we could talk to about anything and everything--things that can't be discussed on facebook even. Some of you are great friends for a movie night, others were there when a girls night was required before another day of housewifing. There are those who would drop everything and grill with us, those who always had ice cream in the fridge and a brownie mix in the pantry. I miss the friends that taught me how to make great rolls, how to quilt, how to can (even though I haven't canned a thing in my life), how to conduct music and what the heck a formata is even though I can't spell it. I love those of you who didn't mind how silly the Burneson's are and who didn't care that my laundry is never done. I am grateful for the moms that taught me how important it is to give your kids a 2-minute warning before leaving anyplace fun. Most of you taught me about the importance of service through your awesome examples.

So, I've decided you must all pack up your families and come to Burnesonville. This is not a stationary location as we are not near finished with dental school and could possibly be expected to give a couple years to an Ortho residency or repay a dental service scholarship. But, I must demand that you all just pack it up anyway and plan to relocate as necessary, in order to remain nearby.

Now I won't be unreasonable. I'll give you six months to sell your house, find a job in KC and relocate. I promise you won't regret it. This lifelong adventure with the Burneson's is not to be missed. We currently reside in the Parkville Ward of the Platte City Stake in Kansas City's beautiful Northland. See you soon.

Love, Emy

Forget the catch.

Okay the post below mentions a "catch." It states that you have to post the same favor on your blog offering a gift to the first 5 that reply. I so do NOT need you to do that! I simply need an outlet for my creativity. I need a purpose. I need to be buzy doing something FUN for others and lose myself in it.

I will be entirely too sad to learn that only 1 friend is interested in what I have to create for her. So if you didn't leave a comment on my earlier post because of the necessary commitment that was required, I have now eliminated that element and would like you people to give me a reason to use the mushy mess of a brain that remains where my brilliance once was.

Please help me to find that drive. I am tired of laundry and leasing and I need something interesting to do. Girlfriends, I'm counting on you. Shoot! If there's a blog stalker out there who has interest let me know. So what if I don't know you! Perhaps that person in the Soviet Republic who visits my blog on occasion would like a crafty something from the states. Please reply. I'd appreciate the challenge.

Thanks!

Ooooh goody a project!

{Lucky you!The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!

2- What I create will be just for you.

3- It'll be done this year.

4- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry or an article on properly cleaning your face before a masque. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!

5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me what they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!}